The Chemistry of Healthy Family - Chronic Anger

...Continuing from the previous sermon from Ps. John ICA

Another indicator of there is a crack in the family is when one of the family member chronic anger syndrom.

Chronic anger is displayed through the consistent level of anger which leads out to controlling behaviour. This behaviour threatens the emotional or physical safety of any family member. Family member with this syndrom generates pressure for people around them. The rest of the family will have to play and act certain way just so that the 'sick' person will not get mad. Feels like you are walking on an egg shell.

Psalm 4:4 says, " Don't sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent."

Repressed or unresolved anger is almost always taken out on those around you. Probably stressed from school or job brought back home. Anger isn't sin, sin is when anger makes us do things that we are not supposed to do.

Things that you can do to reduce:

1. Pull yourself away to evaluate the reason you are being angry. Most of time, people with chronic anger got angry out of context. Problem was x, but he was angry at x and y and z and abc, when y, z, and abc were past problems or suspicion.

2. Calm down. Its better to stop talking now, than regretted whatever you have said when you were mad, later.

3. Resume the conversation later. Use win win principal so that both have no regressed feeling.

Next .. The Chemistry of Healthy Family - Lack of trusts, Dection, and Denial

The Chemistry of Healthy Family - Estrangement

21 October 2012
I went to ICA church at PTC to hear the sermon. The Pastor, named John (If Im not mistaken), was preaching about healthy family.

He opened the sermon by reading Psalm 127:1 which says:
"Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted"

Here are the summary of the sermon, which I think everybody that involves in any sort of relationship in the world should hear since it is a very constructive sermon. He begin by giving us a lists of indicators for us to think about.

Estrangement from dictionary means the feeling of separation either resulted from hostility or feeling alienated from other people.
This happens to relationships when some conflicts happened and people started to avoid each other. When you hear things like: " Our relationship has changed, it wasn't like it used to be.." is one of the alarm that estrangement might have intrude the relationship.

Potential cause of estrangement:
- Unresolved conflict
- Dislike feeling resulted from unexpected behavior of the other party (might involve judging and perception)
- One of the party hiding stuff / reluctant to opens up
- Lack of honesty
- etc.

Potential Solution:
a. Specifically define the issue
b. Brainstorm the solution
c. Agree on a potential solution and try it
d. Reward each other for progress

When estrangement happened, put on your best attitude forward, be honest and willing to change yourselves when needed. Don't try to protect your pride, ego, or to hide.. Have a positive mental attitude.

Next...
The Chemistry of a Healthy Family - Chronic Anger